Star Wars Revised: A Rough Draft

ArekusandaaRossu

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I’ve had the perennial idea to make a Star Wars rewrite – an overview of the six films as they could be rethought and made in chronological order, I to VI, with a consistent aesthetic, no plot holes and a more integrated and interesting storyline. I have a rough outline right now, and I’d like to share it with the Star Wars fanbase for critique. Any serious comment will be taken into account as I revise and expand it. Right now the imagination for IV and V is there, but no integrated plot – the others are more fleshed out.


I have made significant but not radical changes to the story according to personal aesthetic and sense of good storytelling. This revision is eclectic, and works with a particular backstory that takes some elements from the EU and rejects others. One fundamental factor in the telling of the stories would be the fact that they are released chronologically rather than as originals and prequels. Because of this, I-III would rely on what we don’t know – mainly the mystery of the Sith – and IV-VI would partially rely on what we know, and on new things that we don’t know – conceivably a master plan of Sidious’s, as discussed below.


As a work in progress, there are several versions of the story, and this is only the most developed. An example of another version is one that incorporates Sidious having the ultimate goal of immortality and virtual godhood through consuming the Galaxy over simply ruling it – I’ve thought that would be a natural goal of his since well before Emperor Vitiate of SWTOR was introduced. In the version below this would be intimated as an eventual goal – in the version above it would be a goal in the works from I to its activation in VI. One modification to the version below would be to have full war begin at the end of Episode I instead of Episode II. Something that needs to be developed more is Sidious’s role in I and II – I’ve developed Dooku as a character at the expense of his master.


Certain characters have been reworked in the saga as well. For example in I, Obi-Wan is in his late thirties and Anakin is 19. This is done for psychological reasons – Obi-Wan is a full-fledged Knight, the former apprentice of Qui-Gon, and Anakin has had a full developmental period of slavery to harden and traumatize him, setting the groundwork for his conversion to the Dark Side. In I-III, the Jar-Jar and the Nemoidians are redesigned as well, aesthetically and psychologically. I have even considered having Palpatine retain his handsome features or, alternately, having his true identity as the horrific Sidious be masked by those handsome features at will as was considered by Lucas during the production of Revenge of the Sith. Palpatine’s EU backstory would be discounted in this instance – he would be potentially ancient, having lived for hundreds or thousands of years through the Dark Side. I’m attracted to both options. As horrific Sidious, I favor his aesthetic in the end of Revenge of the Sith when he is dressed entirely in black over his other hooded appearances in that film and in Return of the Jedi.


There are three options I favor for the prophecy of the Chosen One. The first is dialectical – there has been an imbalance in the Force since the schism between the Jedi and the Sith, and the purpose of the Chosen One is to synthesize the Light and Dark Sides back into the unitary Force. The second option is that the imbalance in the force has been caused by Sidious, who is the most powerful Sith Lord in history and whose ambitions would eventually consume the Galaxy and perhaps beyond if he is not stopped. The third option, and my favorite, is to have no prophecy, and focus on Anakin’s story of fall and redemption non-fatalistically – “destiny” would not exist in the Star Wars universe, only choice.


In terms of overall aesthetic for the six parts, for film I imagine something between the aesthetics of The Phantom Menace and Revenge of the Sith, and for graphic novel something more surreal.


My child’s dream would be to see these as not-for-profit online graphic novels or, when technology and access one day permit, as photorealistic or near-photorealistic CGI fanfilms.


The issue of Force powers is one I haven’t resolved in this version of the story. The EU, and popularly now the games, have expanded Force abilities in Jedi and Sith to exponential heights. There would be ways to incorporate these radical abilities into these six stories, as I indicated with Sidious and his goal of consuming the Galaxy, and as graphic novels or near-photorealistic (though not photorealistic) CGI films these could be executed well. In this version, however, I’m discounting most EU sources and expanding and altering slightly the canon established in the films alone.


Lastly, I have considered dropping the cardinal numbers and using only subtitles – Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, Star Wars: Return of the Jedi etc. This would be for a less exclusive saga that could easily be expanded into stories set before or after these six stories, as has been done with the KOTOR, SWTOR and Legacy plotlines for example. This could make for strict canon between the initial six films and what is now the EU, instead of the “dual canon” we have now.


I hope you enjoy, and that intelligent feedback outnumbers unintelligent.
 
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ArekusandaaRossu

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STAR WARS REVISED



Episode I – The Phantom Menace


The Confederate movement is beginning. The Commerce Guild[1] , headed by redesigned Nemoidians[2] , blockades Naboo in protest of corruption, unfair taxation and a bloated central bureaucracy, demanding an immediate correction of the fundamental problems in the Republic by the Galactic Senate or the Confederates will continue the blockade. Two Jedi Knights, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon, are sent to negotiate the situation. Obi-Wan senses “something illusive”, a concentration of the Dark Side.


Dooku is a former Jedi turned political activist who has been organizing the Commerce Guild and others into a secession movement to form a Confederacy unmarred by the corruption that plagues the Republic. He has been involved in maneuvering the occupation of Naboo. He speaks with Shu Mai[3] , head of the Commerce Guild, about the Confederate agenda by hologram. Other members of key Separatist organizations such as the Techno Union and Banking Clan are also present by hologram. He orders the deaths of the two Jedi with apparent reluctance: “They cannot be allowed to interfere. You must kill them.”



They are attacked, go planetside and eventually rescue the Queen, who wants an end to the blockade and the suffering of her people. Jar-Jar Binks is renamed and redesigned as a somber former Gungan warrior with guilt about a perceived personal failure.


The Jedi, the Queen and her entourage and Jar-Jar escape the blockade but suffer damage. They land on Tatooine for repairs. Anakin, 19, is discovered on Tatooine. He is a hardened, arrogant and traumatized slave, but he has a kind and loving side that shines through. He wins a swoop race and wins his freedom and the parts needed to repair the Queen’s ship. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan sense the Force is strong with Anakin. Anakin and his creation C-3PO are brought with them back to Coruscant.



On Coruscant, the Jedi caution against war and support continued negotiation, and regard Anakin with wariness – “There is much fear in him.” The Light Side, Dark Side, the Jedi and ostensibly extinct Sith, the Chosen One and the recent shift in the Force are explained. Some speculate that the Sith have returned – others say it’s impossible. The Senate is seen in its bureaucratic ineptness. The Confederate movement is discussed. Military action is ruled out. The Queen calls for a vote of no confidence in the current Supreme Chancellor, and Palpatine is elected to replace him with promises of “renewed negotiations” but “no tolerance for illegality and the suffering of the Nubian people”, referencing the blockade. When Palpatine rules out military action for the time being, Amidala decides to return to Naboo to liberate it. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan accompany her.


The Queen gains the support of the Gungans, and the Naboo attack Theed to capture Shu Mai while the Gungans distract the Commerce Guild occupation army and Naboo fighters attempt to destroy the Droid Control Ship in orbit. Anakin will fight in the space battle.


Dooku arrives on Naboo in person. Dooku seems an idealist. During the climax he tells Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan of Darth Sidious, the Sith returned after a millennium, controlling the Republic. Obi-Wan doesn’t believe him – Qui-Gon considers it. Dooku claims he sees now that the Republic cannot be saved. His means are challenged by the Jedi.


The three duel, with Dooku gaining the upper hand and killing Qui-Gon, but forced to escape Naboo as the Naboo forces recapture Theed. Before he dies Qui-Gon has Obi-Wan promise to train Anakin.


Anakin wins the space battle above by destroying the Droid Control Ship. The droids below are deactivated, and the Commerce Guild retreats.


The Commerce Guild retreats from Naboo. The Separatists secede from the Republic and form a Galactic Confederacy, with the stated mission of “freeing the Galaxy from the oppression of the Republic”. At a cremation ceremony for Qui-Gon, Dooku is discussed by Jedi Masters. Dooku is suspected by the Jedi to have discovered and taken up Sith teachings himself, and of trying to divide the Republic against itself by spreading lies and distrust about a fictional Darth Sidious. The Jedi would be aware if a true Sith had returned. Obi-Wan is to train Anakin in honor of Qui-Gon’s dying wish. But Yoda and Mace Windu muse on the rule of two. Says Yoda: “Always two there are. A master and an apprentice.” Mace responds: “If Dooku is Sith, which role does he fulfill – the master or the apprentice?” Sidious is only revealed at the end on Coruscant as Dooku’s Sith master. “Everything is going as planned.”



Episode II – Attack of the Clones


More and more worlds have left the Republic to the alarm of the Galactic Senate. Tensions have developed between the Republic and the Confederacy. There have been small conflicts, but no open war. There is to be a vote in the Senate as to whether to go to war with the Confederacy and reclaim the Republic’s losses. Now-Senator Amidala is an advocate of peace and reconciliation, either through allowing the Confederacy to exist independently if it must or preferably by shaking the Republic out of its apathy and decadence and reinstituting more idealistic and democratic values. Padme is forced to flee Coruscant before the Senate vote due to two assassination attempts. Anakin and Padme develop their forbidden romance on Naboo as Anakin protects her from assassination.


Millions of clones are discovered by Obi-Wan on Kamino. Jango Fett is introduced on Kamino and battles Obi-Wan, escaping with his son Boba to the Confederates. Massive warships and ground and naval machines have also been being produced as well on another world. This has been happening since before the war began at the apparent request of now-deceased Jedi Master Sifo-Dyas, a former friend of Dooku.


Anakin, who has been tormented by dreams of his mother dying, goes to Tatooine with Padme and finds her captured by Tusken Raiders. His mother dies.


Obi-Wan, in pursuit of Jango Fett for clues as to the clone army’s purpose, and believing him to be the assassin who tries to take Padme’s life, tracks him to Geonosis, where he secretly witnesses Confederate leaders planning an assault on the Republic to establish a fully Galactic Confederacy “free of the irreparable corruption of the Republic”. Dooku is present. Shu Mai ordered the assassination attempt on Padme’s life. Obi-Wan is soon captured.


Anakin and Padme mount a rescue to save Obi-Wan, but are captured themselves.


The Republic, fearing the clone and other military assets were commissioned by Dooku because of his connection with Sifo-Dyas, and based on Obi-Wan’s reports of a planned attack, clamors for war. Massive droid armies in production on Confederate member-worlds are cited, and the clones. Palpatine is granted emergency powers in wake of the crisis, and decides to attack Geonosis, as it is a key Confederate droid manufacturing world. The Jedi are pressured into the war. The clone armies mobilize and prepare to attack Geonosis. The Jedi, led by Mace Windu and more easily mobilized, go ahead to attempt to capture or kill Dooku and rescue Anakin, Obi-Wan and Padme.


Anakin, Padme and Obi-Wan are set to be publically executed. The Jedi and then the clones arrive and they’re rescued.


The clones provide support and attempt to decimate the Confederacy forces. Unexpected strength in the Confederate forces draws out the battle. Dooku and General Grievous survey the battle from the Confederate command spire. They see that defeat is inevitable. Dooku speaks with Grievous, then travels to his private transport. He is pursued by Obi-Wan and Anakin. Dooku escapes after battling Obi-Wan and Anakin and then Mace Windu. Anakin loses an arm.


Dooku visits Sidious again on Coruscant. “The war has begun.”


On Coruscant, millions of clones are sent to war.


On Naboo, Anakin and Padme are secretly married.



Episode III – Revenge of the Sith


The Republic with its clone armies has been engaged in relentless war with the Confederacy and its droid armies. Palpatine has amassed immense power. Anakin is 24. The clone armies are strong, but the Jedi are spread thin. Anakin and Obi-Wan fight on an Outer Rim world, attempting to capture or kill Dooku and end the war. The Confederacy attacks Coruscant and kidnaps Palpatine. Anakin and Obi-Wan mount a rescue attempt for the Chancellor. Anakin kills Dooku above Coruscant at Palpatine’s goading.


Palpatine begins his endgame and soon reveals his identity to Anakin as Obi-Wan and Yoda are drawn elsewhere in the Galaxy to try to end the war. Anakin is conflicted, then in his fear, anger and ambition, and haunted by dreams of Padme’s death, turns to the Dark Side and become Darth Vader. The Jedi Purge is initiated. Anakin is seen killing Jedi. Order 66 is carried out.


Yoda battles on Kashyyyk. Obi-Wan battles General Grievous, the “last surprise” of the Confederacy.


The Confederacy leaders are soon executed by Vader. The Galactic Empire is proclaimed. Yoda vs Sidious and Obi-Wan vs Vader. Vader is critically wounded and Obi-Wan escapes with Padme and the droids. Sidious rescues Vader and places him in the suit. Twins delivered, Padme dies. The twins are taken into hiding “where the Sith will not sense their presence”.
 
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ArekusandaaRossu

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Episode IV – The New Hope


The Rebellion prepares its first offensive amidst politics on Coruscant that involve Leia Organa and Bail. Luke (with different last name) begins training with Obi-Wan. The relationship between Vader and the Emperor is developed. The Emperor is still exploring the secret of immortality and ultimate power. There is no Death Star. The Rebel leaders, many of them current and former Senators, have been working in secret since Episode III and the time for military action is now. The Second Galactic Civil War begins. There is a Rebel offensive across the Rim, and the main Rebel fleet including the heroes moves to secure Sullust or Hypori as a manufacturing world. There is a rendezvous with Yoda (and other Jedi?). Luke and Leia both fight in a space battle to secure the key manufacturing world for the Alliance. Han Solo comes in at the last minute and lets Luke and Leia save the day. In the final battle Vader and Obi-Wan have a duel. Obi-Wan dies. Vader learns Luke’s identity. Luke is 19.



Episode V – Wrath of the Empire


The war has broadened, with the Empire gaining the upper hand. Vader hunts for Luke. Luke and Leia are 23, and have trained with Yoda. The Force is strong with them and they have learned quickly. Multiple campaigns are open across the Galaxy. While accompanying Leia as she tries to recruit a key world to the Rebellion, Han Solo battles with and then is captured by Boba Fett, who brings him to the Empire as a trap for Luke. Luke is lured to the trap and faces Vader, losing his saber hand. He learns the truth about his father. Han Solo is taken to Jabba’s palace on Nar Shaada. The Rebellion secures the key world and other successes across the Galaxy renew their morale and military position.



Episode VI – Return of the Jedi


Vader returns to Coruscant as part of a plan by the Emperor. Luke and Leia rescue Han from Nar Shaada. Luke fights and kills Boba Fett. They return to the Alliance leadership.


Luke and Leia speak with Yoda. Yoda is dying. After some words are spoken, he passes away.


The Rebel leadership claims that the Emperor has made a critical error: in the Empire’s offensive against the Rebellion holdings in the Rim, Coruscant has been left unprotected. The Alliance can surprise the Emperor en masse. They will kill the Emperor and capture the members of the Imperial government, throwing the Empire into chaos while securing Coruscant and declaring the restoration of the Galactic Republic.


Luke, Leia, Han and a small Rebel army infiltrate Coruscant to deactivate the planetary defenses and the shield generator protecting the Imperial Palace. Sensing Vader, Luke feels he must surrender and confront his father to attempt to save him. Vader takes Luke to the Emperor.


Leia, Han and Rebel forces aren’t able to breach the defenses to the shield generator, and elsewhere Rebel forces aren’t able to breach the defenses to shut down the planet’s defense grid – huge numbers of Imperial ground forces have been waiting for them and a battle begins.


In the Imperial Palace, the Emperor reveals to Luke that the attack of Coruscant is a trap and that the Alliance is doomed.


The Rebellion attacks Coruscant with its strongest fleet and the Rebel leadership, but finds the planetary defenses still intact. Suddenly an enormous Imperial fleet jumps from hyperspace and surrounds them. A massive space battle ensues.


Rebel transports manage to break through Coruscant’s defenses to land more ground troops in the ground battles.


The Emperor goads Luke into dueling Vader. Vader has the upper hand, but then Luke proves his skill by drawing close to the Dark Side. Vader provokes Luke when he senses Leia nearby. Luke attacks Vader and cuts off his saber hand.


The Emperor commands Luke to kill Vader take his father’s place, but Luke refuses. Luke challenges the Emperor.


The reinforcements to the Rebel ground forces aren’t enough to defeat the Imperial forces at the shield generator and defense grid sites. The Alliance is losing the battle.


In space, the Imperial fleet is decimating the Rebel fleet in close-quarters battle. The Imperials are closing their attack ring around the Alliance ships, choking them. Lando Calrissian dies.


The Emperor quickly overpowers Luke. He begins torturing him. Vader reawakens as Anakin Skywalker and battles the Emperor in the Force. He is able to counter the Emperor’s powers briefly. Then he realizes – in his weakened condition, he must sacrifice his life to overpower him. He destroys the Emperor and falls to the floor, exhausted and dying.


Suddenly chaos breaks out among the Imperial ground and space forces – the Emperor’s battle meditation is broken. The Rebel fleet engages the Imperial fleet with fervor as the Rebel ground forces break through the Imperial defenses and destroy the shield generator and planetary defenses.


In space, a Rebel capital ship prepares to bombard the Imperial Palace.


Luke and Vader try to escape the Imperial Palace – Luke knows the bombardment is coming. Vader says to leave him. His mask is removed and words are exchanged. Vader dies.


Luke escapes with Vader’s body as the Imperial Palace is destroyed from orbit. Imperial morale collapses – the ground troops surrender, and the remains of the Imperial fleet jump to hyperspace. Leia and Han share a moment.


The Rebel leaders secure the Imperial government buildings and the members of the Imperial government, including Mas Amedda and Sly Moore, are taken into custody. Reports come of mass defections across the Galaxy, with Imperial forces fracturing and retreating to various strongholds that will be sieged and inevitably taken by the Alliance fleets. The war is not over, but is now definitely winnable.


Luke cremates his father’s body inside the Jedi Temple. Across Coruscant celebration has erupted. Across the Galaxy, celebration rings.

________________________________________
[1] The Commerce Guild replaces the Trade Federation.
[2] The Nemoidians now look like Utapauans, and are known for their ambition and cruelty rather than their cowardice.
[3] Shu Mai is a male Nemoidian, the equivalent of Viceroy Nute Gunray.
 
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